Another Year…
May 27, 2012 at 9:25 am | Posted in Daddy-O, Family Ties | Leave a commentTags: Wedding Anniversary
I can’t think of anything creative this morning, so Happy Anniversary, Bum 
Even though you think you were the warmer one in your tux, I still think 50 pounds of Wedding Dress and Crinoline beats you… Damn that was a hot day – it was perfect I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile so much …
It was a beautiful day, with our 2 year old running amok, Uncle Sean chasing her around Parkwood, we were surrounded by our friends and family.
Thanks for six great years, two beautiful children, and a shoulder to lean on when I need it, which is often. Love you.
Where’s the Off-Switch?
May 22, 2012 at 9:40 pm | Posted in Caityisms, Family Ties, Miscellaneous Crap, My Kid is a Donut, Depression | Leave a commentTags: kids, Donut, Roomba, Pot
Putting Caity to bed tonight was taxing on a whole new level. How on Earth does a five year old manage to zap every ounce of strength out of a person? She screamed and wailed and carried on like she had the two most horrendous Parents on the Planet. I’m sure she’s not far wrong, at least on my end. Her Dad is good, not sure how the poor thing got stuck with me….
She was wailing, all the way up to her room “it’s just not fair!”. I know she’s tired and she’s probably still not feeling well, but come on…
She wants desperately to be a big girl like her Sister and if Lexy gets one teeny tiny thing that she doesn’t, well get some ear plugs because life’s not fair.
Let me tell you something, my little donut … It doesn’t get any easier when you’re older… In fact there are many days you hope not to wake up so you don’t have to face it anymore…
———
Why do I have to have inconsiderate neighbours who insist on smoking that fucking shit every night? It’s bad enough in the Winter when they’re outside smoking pot, but that shit blows directly onto my property. Now that the nice weather has come back, they smoke several joints every fucking night and I can’t keep my doors open or my house will stink of Pot. I’m seriously thinking of calling the cops because this is getting ridiculous. It does wonders for Cait’s Asthma too. Thanks assholes. Why can’t they smoke that shit in their basement or garage like every one else does
Anyone have any ideas on how to get some peace?
———-
To the makers of the Roomba vacuum cleaner….
I
Will
NEVER
Buy
Your
Product
Because
Your
Ads
Are
So
ANNOYING!!
Seriously, who does ‘the Robot’ anymore??
——-
Going to try opening the doors again, maybe I can keep them open longer than five minutes this time….
Grrr.rr.rrr.
Stuck in my Skin…
May 14, 2012 at 9:56 pm | Posted in Depression, Miscellaneous Crap | Leave a commentTags: depression, Mother's Day
Have you ever wanted to escape from your own skin? I don’t mean change something about you that you don’t like, but actually step out of your skin and start all over again? I know that doesn’t make much sense but I’ve been known to ramble on occasion.
You know your day is going to be a doozie when the first thing out of the Starbuck counter person’s mouth is “you look dreadful”. Nice to see you too.
Most days I wish I had a do over. I think I need a magic wand. I don’t want to do over everything, just most things. I’d step out of my skin at 18 and do just about everything else over again.
I’d do over just about every day from the past year.
I’d request a Mulligan for the last decade.
Oh hell, just start over at birth or just dodge that one little sperm entirely and the point would be moot. Everything I touch seems to fall apart anyway. Have you ever tried to hang on to a sandcastle? I can imagine what the Tarot cards are saying about me now… You’re fucking up your life and will never accomplish anything, so why bother getting out of bed? I’ve had enough.
It. Just. Doesn’t. Matter.
I really hope my kids don’t end up as messed up as I am.
Oh yeah, Happy Mother’s Day.
Can I Have Another Donut?
May 9, 2012 at 11:55 am | Posted in Caityisms, CKD, Kidney Disease, My Kid is a Donut, Transplant | Leave a commentTags: CKD, health, IgA Nephropathy, kidney transplant, kids, medicine, organ donation, PKD, Sick Kids Hospital, Things Kids Say
Yesterday, Caity had an appointment with a Nephrologist (Kidney Specialist) at Sick Kids. She found the day fairly exciting as we got to ride on a GO Train, a Subway, and a Taxi. She looked around in awe at all the big buildings in the Toronto skyline. Things commuters take for granted every day, she zeroed in on. On seeing a homeless person: “Mummy, why is that lady lying on the ground? Why is that blue thing on her?”. “It’s ok, Caity, she’s just sleeping, the blue tarp keeps the rain off of her”. “Oh.”
Cait wasn’t too thrilled having to give some blood. She couldn’t understand why they needed to do this. I tried to explain to her that the doctors need to look at what’s going on inside her little body and sometimes that’s the only way they can find out if something’s not ok. “Oh.” She was however, very happy to go to Tim Horton’s on our way home and have a ‘Smores Donut all to herself for being a good girl.
Caity’s opinions:
On having to pee in a cup: “Why do doctors want my pee? That’s just gross.”
On having to collect all her pee in a jug over a 24 hour period a couple of weekends ago: whispers “this is CRAZY!”
Caity must think that adults are nuts. Her hypothesis is not that far off…
Caity relegated her whoasome tale to her big sister, embellishing every detail and ending each sentence with “…oh MY GOD!”
We found out last Fall during her first visit to Sick Kids when we had to stay overnight, that Caity not only had Kidney Stones, but she had a cyst in one of her Kidneys too. The poor little thing was in so much pain at the time. Caity has a very strong constitution. It takes a lot to bring her down – she even wants to get up and play when she has Pneumonia – but when she had the Kidney Stones, she was so still and quiet. It broke my heart and I knew she must have been in agony.
The Nephrologist didn’t seem concerned about the cyst – some kids get them, some kids don’t. Caity doesn’t have Polycystic Kidney Disease (whew), which is good and it’s nothing more serious than a benign cyst. Cait will have an ultrasound in June and likely yearly after that unless they’ve detected some changes. We were asked to stop giving her multivitamins (no more Flinstones!) because the B vitamins can apparently cause calcium stones. Her blood tests showed that she’s otherwise healthy so there’s no issue with her not having the supplement.
Let me tell you, this has been an enormous weight off of my shoulders. I fell asleep at 7:30 last night and woke up at 7 this morning. I was exhausted and I guess my body was trying to tell me something… I hadn’t slept well for weeks.
Alex said Caity’s wrapped around my little finger … how could she not be?
Donkeys Need Friends Too…
April 16, 2012 at 10:38 pm | Posted in Miscellaneous Crap | 1 CommentTags: Donkey, Glee, horses, Lake Huron, road trip
I had to go to my Site office today for a meeting in the afternoon. This meant a three hour road trip towards Lake Huron. I like it up here, but I hate getting here. About two hours into my trip, I passed a farm (one of about 10,000 along the way) and I noticed in the field, close to the road, several brown horses grazing. The horses had grouped themselves together, as horses do. Off to the side all by himself, stood a lone, white donkey. The donkey looked sad, as if he wanted to be part of the ‘in’ crowd but couldn’t. He was the Glee-club donkey among the football stallions …
Ok, so maybe that analogy was a bit of a stretch, but donkeys need friends too…
Like this:
Squirrels Have Mommies Too…
April 9, 2012 at 9:34 am | Posted in Caityisms, My Kid is a Donut | Leave a commentTags: kids, Squirrels
On the ride to the Sitter’s this morning, a black Squirrel ran across the road in front of us and jumped in the nearest tree.
“Mummy, the Squirrel was lucky…” Caity stated. “If we hit him, he’d die, just like the Bunny we saw…”
“Yes, Caity.”
“What if he was a Mummy or Daddy Squirrel? The babies would be left all alone…”
“That’s true…”
“Or they’d have to go live with someone else, like their Grandma…”
I could picture it, a Police Officer Squirrel bringing a baby Squirrel to their Grandparent’s nest, in the middle of the night … squad car lights flashing in the background… Law and Order music playing softly…
I love the way kids think sometimes, in very simple terms. Caity’s got a big heart, she doesn’t want to see anything hurt. She’s a sweet kid.
From the Donut Files…
April 5, 2012 at 7:30 pm | Posted in Caityisms, Family Ties, My Kid is a Donut | 1 CommentTags: dead batteries, Easter, Easter bunny, kids, Wii
Caity was playing on the Wii yesterday when the batteries died in the controller…
With her head down, she wailed “now my life is over….!”
————–
We were in the car this morning, heading to the Sitter’s. Caity pipes up from the backseat, “Mummy, the other day, on our way home from School, we saw a bunny lying in the road, it got hit by a car…”
I could see in the rear view mirror that she was very upset by this and on the verge of tears.
“It’s ok honey, that happens sometimes.”
“But Mummy, it was the Easter Bunny…!!”
Like this:
The View From Here, Part Deux
April 4, 2012 at 1:33 pm | Posted in All Things Doodle, Caityisms, Depression, Miscellaneous Crap, My Kid is a Donut | Leave a commentTags: depression, kids
I have new artwork for my cubicle. New artwork to break up the dull. grey. fabric.
Do it for her...
I borrowed it from “The Simpsons”. The episode where they talk about Maggie’s arrival - Homer had a plaque at work that said “Don’t forget: you’re here forever”, he modified it with pictures of Maggie to say “Do it for her”. Lisa asked Homer why there were no pictures of Maggie around, and he told her that he keeps them where he needs them the most.
I have mine where I need it the most … above my monitor. On the dull. grey. fabric.
They are, after all, the reason I get up in the morning. Most days, the only reason…
The View From Here…
April 3, 2012 at 9:17 pm | Posted in All Things Doodle, Caityisms, Depression, Miscellaneous Crap, My Kid is a Donut | Leave a commentTags: Boredom
This is my view eight hours a day. This isn’t my cubicle, but it looks fairly similar. Straight ahead of me is my computer monitor. Above and all around the monitor is dull, grey fabric. Lots of dull. Grey. Fabric. I sit under Fluorescent lighting, eight hours a day. My eyes are nearly continuously blood-shot. So much so, people must think I’m either a drug addict, I cry a lot or I’m more tired than I actually am. It’s just eye strain caused by all of the above.
Alex is finishing off his last few days of night shift – thank God. The kids are no longer listening to me and I become a screaming Ogre on a regular basis. I. Just. Don’t. Care. Anymore. I really don’t. I am a robot.
Tonight, after dinner, I forget exactly what started the conversation, but I was losing my patience with Caity for the fifth time tonight (it’s not her fault, she’s such a sweet kid), and whatever it was that Caity wanted, I said no.
“Why not, Mummy?”
“Because I’m a mean Mom, that’s why…”
“Why do you have to be mean?”. She had my attention now. Why do I have to be mean? “Sometimes you’re a really nice Mommy…”
Wow. I forget how much they take in. It’s so easy to treat them as part of the furniture, think that they’re not perceptive at all. I wonder how much I’m fucking them up and that scares me sometimes. Lexy, earlier this week, told me that she doesn’t like it when I’m tired and grumpy.
By bedtime though, all was forgiven, hugs and kisses and promises of new days on the horizon.
A new day to stare at dull. Grey. Fabric. For another eight hours. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
*sigh*
Bored…
March 22, 2012 at 11:20 am | Posted in Miscellaneous Crap | Leave a commentI’ve pieced together lyrics from a few of my favourite songs … somehow they all fit together. Don’t read too much into this. Or do. Don’t care.
——————-
“Nobody’s perfect, trust me I’ve learned it
Life’s too short to even care at all, oh
I’m losing my mind, losing my mind, losing control
A dark world aches for a splash of the sun, oh oh
I will change if I must
Slow it down and bring it home, I will adjust
Like a clown I pretend to be glad
I think I lost my way
Getting good at starting over
I’m learning to walk again
I just thought maybe we could find new ways to fall apart
To shield my pride I try
To cover this … with a show of gladness
But don’t let my show convince you
That I’ve been happy”
Me and My Gal
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